This is one fire you don't want to put out. How do you maintain the spark in your relationship?

In our modern society, there are so many things asked of us; we have so many roles to fill – woman, friend, lover, listener, boss, office pantry snack drawer purchaser. The stress from work can wipe out any sexual desires.


From 7 in the morning till bedtime, we are taking care of the house, taking care of the pets, taking care of the kids, online shopping for curtains, online shopping for curtains to complement the leopard print sofa cushions, online shopping for curtains to complement but not take attention away from the leopard print sofa cushions, reading online reviews for said curtains, creating online shopping accounts, getting shit done at work, preparing dinner, stopping to be just a little mad at something our boyfriend said two weeks ago.


Oh my god. And we need to have sex. 


Okay, we’ll do it tomorrow.


Those, are the worse words to hear in a relationship, it hurts. Not just for the person hearing them, but also for the person saying them. You signed up for a forever love, remember? You just didn’t realise it would really take work sometimes. How, you think, can you maintain the spark in your relationship?


We list seven things you can do to keep the spark alive and maintain a passionate relationship for years to come. No, it’s not always a b*****b.


Always make time for date night


It seems like the most obvious thing. Married couples who have monthly date nights are 14% less likely to break up. But anyone who’s in a long term relationship will know that the intention is always there, and it always stops when neither one can think of something fun to do. Don’t worry, we got you, here is a list of fun date ideas.


Treat each other with respect


Being polite and kind to each other can go a long way in a relationship. It shows that you appreciate your partner and lets your partner know that he/she can count on you when the going gets tough. Also, no one can be with a person that’s not nice to them, plain and simple.


Don’t harp on the small things


After some time together, there will be things about your partner that start to get on your nerves. It could be that he never lines his shoes up when he puts them away, or she never hangs the bath towel up after she uses it, or put the milk back into the fridge. You can make a conscious choice, and you should, not to harp on these small things and have them fester. Instead, think of all the other reasons why your partner makes you happy and appreciate them for those things.


Be silly together


Being in a long term relationship comes with heavy responsibilities, and mundane tasks. You’re planning a life together, that may involve kids and pets (yes, okay, they’re children too), and it’s serious business. But even if it seems like it, not every conversation you have needs to be a budget discussion or a balanced, carefully thought out joint decision. Take the time to say f*** it; play and be silly together; prank your dogs, laugh at funny memes, play video games.

image credit here

Talk about your day


At the end of a busy day, disconnect from your day phone, and fully let yourselves get loose and intimate. In conversation. Talk to them about your day, like friends would; you shouldn’t feel judged about feeling frustrated with office politics, and nor should you judge your partner. Having someone to talk to and vent about your day can release stress quickly and allow you to fully enjoy the time you have with your partner.


Appreciate each other interests


We’re not saying you have to pretend to love cricket, or curling. Or fake liking anything your partner likes. But appreciate their interests, and get involved in your own way. If they love football, maybe look up the matches of their favourite team and surprise them by commenting on the match result. If they’re a history buff, surprise them by reading up and learning about how the Industrial Revolution began. A little truly goes a long way here.


Talk about the future


This is something everyone loves to hear. It’s the best feeling to know that someone else has factored you into the rest of their lives, and wants to know what you think. Talking about the future together gives a strong sense of stability and security; it’s like a hug to the heart. If you want to see bliss on your partner’s face, start making grand plans with him/her.


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